Balancing Work and Motherhood: Strategies for Success in a Busy World

It’s 5:30 a.m., your eyes awaken, and your mind pings like your phone with notifications of random questions:

• What’s Charlie having for breakfast?
• I have a huge project and must stay late! Who’s picking up Sarah today?
• Did I pay all of my bills today?
• Oh no, where am I on the checklist of tasks for work?

Truth is, a working mom’s mind is riddled with at least five decisions within the first three minutes of being awake, every day. Research conducted by Rapoport and Rapoport within the article entitled “The dual career family: A variant pattern and social change,” shares their study on the struggles women entering the workforce face when balancing work and motherhood.

READ: Mastering Work-Life Balance — Practical Steps for Entrepreneurs to Thrive

The Five Dilemmas:

1. Overload Dilemma — The balancing act between domestic and work duties including managing the household and transporting children while trying to grow a career.
2. Normative Dilemma — Experienced when a woman first becomes a mother and must decide on the commitment level of her career based on the expectations of society. There are two decisions: Should I focus on being a mother or growing my career?
3. Identity Dilemma — The disconnect between societal stereotypes and interpersonal thoughts on gender roles.
4. Social Network Dilemma — Arises with non-immediate family members when expectations by the dual-career family are not met to help support the domestic responsibilities, including unrealistic demands on the dual-career family.
5. Role-Cycling — The decision of when to have a child. Sometimes, of course, it just happens.

Now, I ask, as a working mother, what is your dilemma?

For me, I did not have anyone to balance the load of managing a career and home. My biggest struggle as a single parent was balancing my time between growing my career and being there for my son at those critical moments. Eventually, I had to make a choice between the two for a moment in time, and I chose my son.

This did not mean that I completely stopped growing in my career, but I found different ways to grow in my career. I did not take the largest projects at work but took the challenging ones that were manageable with my parenting at the time. These dilemmas are never easy to navigate but with the right thinking power, one can navigate.

READ: Mastering the Art of Decision-making — Unveiling Six Strategies for Effective Leadership

My background in business, change management and auditing helped me to develop the BR method through my business, Butterfly Rising Institute, which focuses on a step-by-step approach for the busy working career mom. There is no magic wand to wave but there is an approach that can be utilized that takes dedication and strength. The best method forward is to ask for help and find an objective person who can help be your guide.

Steps for balancing work and motherhood:

1. Connect with yourself to truly understand your core values, purpose, and strengths.

Stop overthinking about what others think you should be and follow your intuition on what you should be. My strength is in communication and innovation, so I focused on a career that allowed me to use these skills while giving me the time flexibility to focus on my main value: my family.

2. Journal your thoughts that explain why these values and strengths are important.

I’ll leave this up to you, but again, remember to think about yourself and not any expectations.

3. If there are gaps within your mind and actions, create one clear step that will get you closer to your core values.

This should help you find a proper balance over time, slowly but surely.

The bottom line

A dilemma is a difficult situation, but we can also see it as an opportunity for growth. It is a challenge that is new but can be overcome. Remember that this does not need to be done in a silo, and you are stronger than you think.

A quote that I admire by Maya Angelou is “We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” We are all unique and beautifully made mothers who are forever transitioning into our beauty through our dilemmas.

There is no right or wrong way to face life’s dilemmas, we can only figure out the combination that fits best when balancing work and motherhood.

Tanya Davis is a life coach who’s passionate about empowering women who are juggling a career and single motherhood. As a single mom and a career professional, Tanya knows firsthand the struggles that come with balancing work and home life. With her education in communications and change management, Tanya helped local and state governments improve their communication and better serve their communities. But it wasn’t until she applied the principles of change management to her own life that she discovered their power in helping her cope with the challenges of being a single mother while pursuing her career. Tanya’s unique approach to coaching led her to develop the Butterfly Rising Method (BR Method) which she uses today to help support single, professional mothers seeking transformational change.