Co-Parenting and the Holidays; Quick Tips for a Seamless Winter Break

Whether you are going through a divorce, or your divorce is finalized, co-parenting through an already stressful and busy time of the year can be quite a challenge. Below are some practical tips on how to navigate co-parenting parenting during this busy time of the year.

1. Review and plan for your holiday schedule

Do you have a parenting plan already in effect? Reviewing your parenting plan can provide a refresher on how the holidays are spent and help arrange exchanges with the children.

If you don’t have a holiday schedule, see if you can work with your ex-spouse on creating a rotating holiday arrangement. Do you want to split weeks or days with your ex-spouse? Is one parent planning on traveling out of state for the holidays? Make sure to exchange this information well in advance, along with any necessary travel itinerary and emergency contact information.

2. Communicate with your Children the new normal

Communicate to your children how much both you and your ex-spouse love them and that the holidays are a time for joy and gratitude. Avoid speaking poorly about the other parent or engaging in arguments with your ex-spouse in front of your children.

If necessary, consider using a co-parenting communication app, such as Talking Parents or Our Family Wizard. Use this time to create new traditions with your children, focusing on the future rather than dwelling on the past.

Set boundaries and expectations with your children. If possible, explain what the new holiday plans are, ensuring they understand whether they will spend the holiday with both parents together. Honesty can help reduce confusion.

3. Be Flexible and Practice Self Care

Even the best-laid plans can sometimes go sideways. If something goes amiss, remain flexible, calm, and patient. If your ex-spouse tries to provoke an argument, aim to be brief, informative, responsive, and polite. Take your time in responding to their communication and give yourself some grace. Make sure you also carve out time for self-care, whether by spending time with family members, going on a neighborhood walk, watching a movie, or taking five minutes to meditate.

4. Coordinate Gift Giving

If possible, discuss with your ex-spouse the gifts each of you plans to buy for the children to avoid duplicates and consider setting a price limit for gifts. You can also help your child make or buy a present for the other parent, showing that you’re working on building a positive co-parenting relationship.

The holidays can be tough, but having a plan and open communication can help create a more harmonious experience. If your holiday plans aren’t working, consult with our attorneys to create a more joyous holiday season ahead.