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Conquer two things that fuel daily stress

Lauren Miller //February 6, 2015//

Conquer two things that fuel daily stress

Lauren Miller //February 6, 2015//

1. The Drug of Approval

Once again, I draw on the profound wisdom that comes from my spiritual mentor Anthony de Mello.

Whenever you cling to anything in this life— whether it is a certain response from the world; a relationship; a material item or desired outcome—happiness dies and anxiety increases.

Since you were little you began to learn very quickly what to do and say to get a desired outcome or response, and your addiction to the drug of approval began. It is similar to a spoiled child, the more you give it, the more it wants. This addiction to approval is fed by your desire to be acknowledged, approved of, popular, validated and praised. It is as if you are saying, “Please tell me that I am good enough, appreciated, smart enough and worthy to be loved and accepted.”

It is a serpent of a drug and will sap you of any remembrance that you already have everything you truly need within your soul for happiness to occur; along with inner peace and joy. It makes a mockery out of you with the antics you play in life all for a momentary high of being approved of or acknowledged.

Being a visionary and motivated human being is of considerable value. It is when you look to those around you to tell you that you can or cannot do something in life, or you only believe in yourself because someone told you how great you are, that you become vulnerable to the expe­rience of forgetting who you are with your God given inner strengths and abilities.

It is a wonderful practice in life to maintain inner calm and connection in the presence of praise or criticism. In this experience, you are able to remain in your castle. Remember as with any addiction in life, the more you feed it, the more it consumes you along with your ability to remember who you truly are.

2. Attachments

Want happiness to return? Release all attachment… the need for certain outcomes in order to feel good about you. When you desire anything in life in order to feel good about you, it becomes a threat which ultimately leads to the fear of not getting it or losing it.

In one of Anthony de Mello’s lectures, he said, “If your happiness depends on anyone or any­thing, that’s anxiety, tension not happiness that’s pressure; that’s fear. Love is not a desire. A desire leads to a threat and then fear. Whenever you have a strong emotion, positive or negative, it’s not possible to see the other person clearly.” Of course, that’s because your strong emotions block you from seeing the unseen. Strong emotions often accompany attachments because the attachment is fueled by the thought: “I won’t be okay if I don’t get this.” One of the three legs of fear is that you feel you are not safe.

Clear off your lens that has been fogged by your false beliefs, then your attachments in life will drop and peace will return.

“Clarity of perception equals accuracy of response. You will never live until you stop clinging to life.” —Anthony de Mello

Enjoy a quick 3-minute video on Life Satisfaction. Next Grab & Go Stress Relief Complimentary Workshop at Park Meadows Pilates, Lone Tree, CO: Feb. 14, 11 a.m.  Topic: EFT: What Is It? Why Does it Work? How to Use It to Step Out of Those Emotionally Spun Moments in Life: